#76 - Words Left Unsaid

Today’s words: Cat, Sex, Lemon, Colour

Word count: 728

Completion time: 51 minutes

Summary: If you never tell someone what you’re thinking or feeling, you could be worrying over absolutely nothing

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For one of the first times in her life, Charlotte was glad that her webcam transformed her into a blurry mix of colour; it was like crying when it was raining. She wasn’t crying about the lack of sex, she was crying about the emotional distance that she was feeling between her and Blake. It was true that Blake had never been with another girl before so she’d be nervous, but they had barely even kissed.

“You think she’s gone off of girls already?” Charlotte asked Gary in her thick Brooklyn accent as she readjusted the strap on her dress. He laughed a little, making her look up at him accusingly. “That a yes?” Tears began to sting her eyes, which she quickly wiped away with her index fingers.

“You guys have spent two days together, there’s no way you can tell what she’s feeling yet, give it time.”

“I’ve done everything...I’ve,” she looked up towards the ceiling and counted the list off with her fingers, “rested my head on her shoulder, told her she looks pretty, stared at her a little after we break away from a hug, but I can’t feel any intimacy...”

“Have you tried talking to her about it?”

Inhaling, she prepared to answer but held back before starting again. “I try...but it’s difficult to...you know, get the words out; I don’t want her to think that I’m worrying over nothing.”

Gary smiled sympathetically. “You’re worrying and that’s enough; if something’s affecting you emotionally, it’s never stupid or invalid...she should understand that.”

She whispered “yeah” under her breath and watched as more tears fell onto the skirt of her summer dress, a dress that was yellow like the colour of a bright, cheerful lemon. “I wore yellow today,” she said, touching the hem with her fingers and curling them around the thin material. “Yellow’s meant to be the happiest colour, right? I think I read that once.”

“Probably, I don’t know,” Gary said, trying and failing to study the dress.

“Why am I such a scardey cat?”

“You’re not.”

“Oh jeez, you heard that?” she put the back of her hand in front of her mouth and smiled, blinking away a few more tears.

“You know, she might be feeling the same way...she might think that she’s done something wrong or that you don’t like her anymore.”

She wrinkled her brow and chuckled. “No way, I’m crazy about her.”

“But look at it from her point of view...she might be anxious to get closer to you too, and because you’re the first girl she’s been with, she might not even be able to look at you without freaking out.”

She sat up suddenly. “I get nervous to look at her, too.”

“Yeah, see? And you’re experienced, so imagine how she’s feeling.”

There were a few seconds of silence on both ends before Charlotte said: “Wow...I was too caught up thinking about myself to even...” she put both hands on either side of her and leant forward a little. “You think she might be feeling this, too?”

“You won’t know until you ask, so just go for it.”

Soft footsteps were heard coming up the stairs, prompting Charlotte to say, “Hey, I think she’s done making dinner for us...I’ll talk to you soon, okay?”

“That’s fine, just remember – be open with her.”

“Got it.”

The bedroom door opened slightly and Blake popped her head around the door. “You ready for food?”

Charlotte’s heart began to take control of her entire body until she could feel every inch pulsing rapidly. “Yeah...um, is it alright if we talk real quick? It’s nothing big,” she hastened to add, “it’s just...something on my mind.”

It took a while for Charlotte to voice what she wanted to say, but eventually it all came tumbling out once the first issue had been dislodged. She found it hard to look her in the eyes as she spoke, but Blake was hanging onto every word.

“To be honest,” Blake began once Charlotte was finished, “I was kind of scared to say or do anything wrong around you...so I was quieter than normal, I’m sorry,” she confessed, taking Charlotte in her arms. “I’m not sick of you at all, not even a little bit.”

Charlotte smiled against Blake’s hair, drying the tears on her shirt that were filled with joy rather than sorrow. “Good.”