#57 - Everyone Likes Surprises

Today’s words: Smirch, Aposteme, Surprise, Probable

Word count: 730

Completion time: 57 minutes

Summary: A lot of people assume that if lots of people like something, then someone else can’t possibly dislike that thing. It happens with very normal phobias too – if someone doesn’t have that phobia, they think the other person’s overreacting etc. No. Stop that.

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“Surprise!” They yelled, throwing their arms in the air simultaneously, activating party poppers and smiling so obscenely that it could have been the wallpaper to my nightmares.

I didn’t go in, but I didn’t want to upset them by leaving...plus, it was very probable that I would need to pee pretty soon. So all I did was stare at the furthest wall in the room at a smirch on the wall, trying my best to smile but my lips wouldn’t listen.

 I wish I was a mark on the wall...people don’t throw surprise parties for marks on walls.

My mouth was beginning to feel very dry and I wanted to ask for some water, but as my vocal chords had apparently clamped themselves shut, I tried to summon some saliva from somewhere, anywhere. My head was feeling dizzy and I forgot where I was. Gripping onto the doorframe to steady myself, my knees bent in and I found myself on the floor before I had any inclination of falling.

Blue ballet shoes ran over to me; that’d be my mum. She wears those tattered things with everything. I decided that I wanted to be pissed off at her shoes than the cursed spectacle in front of me. They were so scuffed and yellowed by rain. Was she blind? She has money, so just buy some new shoes. I’ll buy you shoes! I will give you my shoes!

“What’s that honey? You’re blind?” a hand waved itself in front of my face and I close my eyes, trying to bat it away, but that only made me dizzier.

Foul aposteme, away with thee! That’s what I wanted to say, but I don’t think I said it out loud because the hand hadn’t stopped waving when I opened my eyes again. I was also being held by someone but I couldn’t figure out who – world was too blurry.

“Why are you overreacting?”

Okay now who the hell said that? Mum?  ...Mum? Gosh you’re an idiot, you’re all idiots.

I opted for closing my eyes again and taking deep breaths in and out for however long I needed, ignoring whoever it was who was now shaking me. I’m not bloody dead, I just collapsed, stop shaking me. If you’re going to touch me, at least hug me or something; insensitive bastards.

When’s the last time someone gave me a hug, like, a proper hug? Two seconds of body contact does not count for a hug, I’ve had more intimacy bumping into someone in the hallway. I reckon that’s how I’m going to meet my partner, I’m going to bump into them and one of us is going to hang onto the other for a little too long, we’ll look into each other’s eyes, then romantic music will spontaneously start playing from an overhead speaker and we’ll...

“Hey, hey!”

My eyes snapped open and I squinted, looking up and around me before settling on everyone who was crowded at the door. I felt like a poor animal in a zoo. A delayed sense of embarrassment overtook everything else and I quickly stood up, brushed my knees (that were throbbing with pain but play it cool...) off and twitched my mouth into a sort of smile.

My mother had her hand on my shoulder. Most parents embrace their kids at times like this, right? Is that just a myth, or... “Honey,” she laughed, “we all got together to throw you a party, why are you showing yourself up like this?”

She had a smile on her face the whole time which I probably would have punched out of her had my energy not been slightly drained away.

“I don’t like surprises.” My voice was trembling and I wanted to speak again to prove that I was over whatever the hell just happened to me. “I told you...mum, I told you, you know, you know I don’t like surprises, I never did.”

“But it’s your eighteenth birthday!”

My bad, phobias are on hold on the eighteenth year of everyone’s life.

“Plus, everyone likes surprises, Amanda!”

It felt like the rest of the room giggled with my mum, then the neighbours opened their doors and joined in, then every single door in the hallway, then eventually the whole world had their doors open to look in and laugh at me.

I was sick on my mother’s shoes.