#32 - Say It

Today’s words: Overt, Second, Reward, Confused

Word count: 712

Completion time: 1 hour 20 mins

Summary: Don’t miss out on the opportunity to tell someone how you really feel

~

It had only been two months since I timidly opened the closet door, so looking at attractive guys still made me feel uneasy, perverse, and scared to death. It was as if everyone in the bar was judging me if I so much as smiled at another man. Walking to the bar for another drink, I immediately changed my mind and ran outside.

Once I was out, I snuck a look back towards the bar; it was definitely him. Ash. His hair was short and tousled, he had biceps that could probably kill a man if he got them in a headlock, and an array of tattoos dominated his left arm; in short, his overt Wolverine-like masculinity probably meant that he had never daydreamed about kneeling on the bed whilst I gripped his hips and...

“Hey, Marcus?”

I managed to hold back a squeal as the guy writhing about in my daydream was suddenly standing next to me in the flesh; naked. ...Okay, not naked, but the daydream wasn’t quite over.

Instead of responding accordingly, I nodded once, opened my mouth, and waited for something to come out. Nothing came.

“So it was you! What are you doing out here?” he smiled wide and set his drink on the ground before looking for something in his jeans pocket.

“Fresh air.” I fanned myself as proof.

Nodding a few times, he took a cigarette packet from his pocket and held it out to me.

“No, I’m okay.”

He shrugged, lit a cigarette and stood next to me, blowing a smooth stream of smoke from his nostrils.

Hey...hey Marcus.

No, Drunk Marcus.

I dare you...

Nope, not listening.

I dare you to tell him how you feel.

...Are you crazy?!

I double-dare you.

What the hell? How can I say, “It would feel great to kiss you.”

...You got your inside and outside voices mixed up.

What are you talking about?

“What did you say?” Ash threw away his barely-smoked cigarette and looked at me.

I was confused. “I didn’t say anything?”

Squinting one eye, he stared at me for a few seconds before grabbing my shoulders, kneeling slightly, and bringing his face close to mine. Everything went blurry.

“Tell me what you just said.”

“I said, ‘I didn’t say anything’.”

“Before that, idiot.”

“Your face...” I struggled to swallow a lump in my throat. “It’s too close. People will get the wrong idea.” He couldn’t be seen with a pervert like me, not like that. I was extremely close to crying. “I...I,” the tears were pretty much on their way out, “I need to go--”

Before I could make it through the doors again, everything went dark and my body felt like it was floating. Just as I was about to fall back, someone caught me. I could taste nicotine...but I didn’t smoke.

My vision came back and Ash was still in front of me with my face between both of his palms. All that I saw was him. My daydreams were often vivid, but that was the most vivid that they had ever been. Though it only made me want to cry harder, so I pushed him away and headed for the toilet.

“You tell a guy to kiss you then when he does, you run away??”

My feet, heart, and breathing stopped. I turned around. “What? Why would you...who said...” Help me.

He took my hand and led me back outside. Exhaling, he pursed his lips and spoke. “I wanted to kiss you, too. I’ve wanted to for a while.”

Who is making him say such things?? I checked his face for any robot-like traits.

“If it was just drunken rambling, then--”

“What? No, I’m gay. I’m very gay.” Shut the frick up, Drunk Marcus!

He laughed so loudly that it was the only sound I heard until he stopped. “You want a reward for that?”

I blushed horrendously. “No...no, I mean, that wasn’t...ngh.”

“You’re supposed to say ‘yes’ so that I can kiss you again,” he whispered.

All I could do was look at him, at his face, and his hand that was still holding mine. Squeezing it a little to confirm that it was real, I looked down and whispered, “Uh...yes.”

He grinned. “Thought you’d never ask.”