Today’s words: Gaping, Fall, Read, Tide
Word count: 394
Trigger warning - implications of suicidal thoughts
Bringing a book to a secluded the beach was one my favourite
things.
I could be alone and abandon myself in another world without
distraction, aside from a seagull who might occasionally laugh at something,
but that would only make me smile as my eyes continued to dart left and right. I’d
find myself looking up after finishing a chapter, taking in the scenery and imagining
that I was the only person left in the world.
The beach was mine; the seaweed was the ribbon for my hair,
the rocky cliff was my climbing wall, and the little cave right by it was my
home. When the tide came in, that was my world telling me that it might be time
for a bath, even though being in open water sort of terrified me.
When I would read about someone interacting with the
protagonist, I’d pull my legs up to the wall and imagine that they were sitting
next to me. I could picture things a lot better if no-one else was around.
It was easy to read in my bedroom or in the library, but
reading where the wind plays with my hair, timidly rustling the pages as I look
up and see nothing but sea, sand, rock, and clear blue sky made me feel elated.
I’d close my eyes and smile, bringing my face upwards as if to tell my
surroundings that I appreciated their existence.
However, there was
something else that drew me to the beach, though the thought wasn’t as
peaceful.
You see, opposite the concrete wall where I always sat,
there was a gaping hole that led down to the sand and pebbles on the beach, and
inside that hole were large jagged rocks and bits of rubbish that had probably
been dropped in by people as they walked by. Without fail, every time I go to
that opposing wall, I take a look inside that hole before I sit down.
I do not flirt with the idea of taking my own life, but just
knowing that I could change everything if I stood up on that wall and took one
step forward stirred an emotion inside me that I had never felt before.
If I ever allowed myself to fall, that would be it, the end.
And all it would take are a few steps.
It’s crazy, right?
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