#47 - Stop

Today’s words: Time, Belief, Project, View

Word count: 352

Research time: 20 mins

Completion time: 40 minutes

Summary: Not being able to control your own body, can you imagine it?

Disclaimer: Tourette’s affects people in very different ways, so don’t assume there are ‘rules’ that the disorder has to follow every time

The theme (and the summary, hohoho) of this story was suggested by my friend, who does actually have Tourette’s himself. I also read about/talked to 3 people who have it.

I know very little about Tourette’s syndrome so if you have any questions, do your own research and check out this site – a lot of stuff on that page helped me to sculpt this story.

--

My little brother likes to disassociate himself from his body. 

He’ll tell me that he’s living with a perpetual outer body experience because he doesn’t want to face the reality of his existence. Many a time he’s come home, left his bag by the front door, and run upstairs, screaming, “I hate my body!” and it’s heartbreaking because we can’t do anything to help him, just like he can’t do anything to help his tics. The freedom that people talk about to do whatever they want whenever they want, free speech, “my body, my rules”...he doesn’t have that; he has to do whatever his body wants, not what he wants.

Our family has come to expect the same reactions when we go out in public with Gordo: they’ll view him as inferior, laugh, stare, point. Someone devotedly accused him of being a devil child once and I’ve never seen mum that angry or upset. Our water hadn’t even arrived at the table before she stormed off, Gordo in hand, insisting that she’d make us something “spectacular to rival the stench of ignorance” once we got home.

I try to educate people on Tourette’s because for those who don’t know much, it can come across as disruptive or annoying. Often he’s told to stop making a scene but what people don’t understand is that he has no way of controlling it; he can hold it back for a few seconds but in the end he has to punch himself in the arm or say a word that’s completely out of context. He’s told me before that it’s a little like holding your breath and after several seconds feeling the urge to breathe again; in the end, you just have to let your body take over no matter how much you protest.

It isn’t a belief, it’s straight-up fact – my brother cannot prevent his tics.

Eventually, I want to start up a project, something that brings sufferers of Tourette’s together so they can share their experiences with each other and the world.

Not being able to control your own body, can you imagine it?