#60 - Body Policing

Today’s words: Arrestee, Political, Lovely, Paint

Word count: 252

Completion time: 26 minutes

Summary: Your body, your rules

--

You know, you can strip the paint from your face like the little dress you chose to take off in front of someone who you’re pretty sure was called Alex, or maybe Ryley, but it doesn’t matter actually because your body is just as lovely as when you were a virgin.

What I’m saying is that you can do what you want when you want because it’s your body. It’s nothing political, it’s logical – you are the master of yourself, you decide what goes on, what comes, what goes, so throw away the idea that you’re scum for having fun.

Some people treat promiscuity like the police treat an arrestee, “I’m sorry ma’am, but you’re going to have to come with us. We don’t want any fuss, just close your legs and come quietly.” Shove your body policing and stand aside, small fry.

I’ll only say this once, so clean the wax out and listen good:

Your make-up doesn’t define you

Your clothes don’t define you

Your sexual activity doesn’t define you

What defines you is your attitude

Your personality

Your morality

Someone tries to tell you that’s wrong? Their opinion should never matter because only you get a say on what is and isn’t okay when it comes to your body and your behaviour.

Who tells you what games you should like?

Who tells you what movies you should like?

Who tells you which hobbies to like?

You do.

So why should someone else tell you how to act or dress?

#59 - Little Girl

Today’s words: Look, Rule, Meat, Error

Word count: 113

Completion time: 10 minutes

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You haven’t got enough meat on your bones

You’ve so much more to grow

Don’t say I didn’t tell you so

I look at you and you’re near-complete

From the top of your head to your long bony feet

The potential you have, can you not see?

You could be great, could rule the world

If only you didn’t look so much like a little girl

There’s an error in the system

A flaw in the way

Forgive me if I say

Looking like that...you can’t really be okay

There’s no rule to follow

This isn’t the law

But if you saw what I see when I see you

You’d be concerned, too

#58 - Create-A-Girl

Today’s words: Symbolise, Broaden, Disjuncture, Bread

Word count: 242

Completion time: 26 minutes

Summary: Perfect people don’t exist and they never will

Change her hair colour

Now her hairstyle

Make her eyes a little better

And you always liked green eyes, right?

Thin her nose down

Make her lips fuller, but not bee-stung

Slightly podgy cheeks are cuter

So are freckles

Broaden her jaw

Give her cute little ears

A slightly higher brow

Well-groomed eyebrows

Okay, body type...

Thinner

Bigger boobs

Bigger ass

Small, dainty feet

Not too tall, either

No option to add body hair?

Good; you like them hairless

Now for the clothes

Oh, nothing too slutty

Get rid of that default short dress

She’s a classy lady

A plain spaghetti-strap top will do

And some skinny jeans

That will symbolise someone not afraid to show some skin

But leaves enough to the imagination

Shoes? Hm

Heels. Heels are hot.

Personality?

Spontaneous but not crazy

Someone who can join in on the lads’ jokes

But still retain her femininity

Knows how to clean, but isn’t OCD about it

A good cook

Like

More than putting bread in a toaster and calling it a meal

Intelligence! But not smarter than you...

Confident but not vain

Laid-back but not lazy

Honest but not brutally so

Congratulations

You’re created your perfect woman on a virtual simulator

Your next task is to find someone similar in the real world

There’s a disjuncture between the real and the virtual

There’s also a disjuncture between people who’ve been manipulated to look better

And people who haven’t

Wake up

#57 - Everyone Likes Surprises

Today’s words: Smirch, Aposteme, Surprise, Probable

Word count: 730

Completion time: 57 minutes

Summary: A lot of people assume that if lots of people like something, then someone else can’t possibly dislike that thing. It happens with very normal phobias too – if someone doesn’t have that phobia, they think the other person’s overreacting etc. No. Stop that.

--

“Surprise!” They yelled, throwing their arms in the air simultaneously, activating party poppers and smiling so obscenely that it could have been the wallpaper to my nightmares.

I didn’t go in, but I didn’t want to upset them by leaving...plus, it was very probable that I would need to pee pretty soon. So all I did was stare at the furthest wall in the room at a smirch on the wall, trying my best to smile but my lips wouldn’t listen.

 I wish I was a mark on the wall...people don’t throw surprise parties for marks on walls.

My mouth was beginning to feel very dry and I wanted to ask for some water, but as my vocal chords had apparently clamped themselves shut, I tried to summon some saliva from somewhere, anywhere. My head was feeling dizzy and I forgot where I was. Gripping onto the doorframe to steady myself, my knees bent in and I found myself on the floor before I had any inclination of falling.

Blue ballet shoes ran over to me; that’d be my mum. She wears those tattered things with everything. I decided that I wanted to be pissed off at her shoes than the cursed spectacle in front of me. They were so scuffed and yellowed by rain. Was she blind? She has money, so just buy some new shoes. I’ll buy you shoes! I will give you my shoes!

“What’s that honey? You’re blind?” a hand waved itself in front of my face and I close my eyes, trying to bat it away, but that only made me dizzier.

Foul aposteme, away with thee! That’s what I wanted to say, but I don’t think I said it out loud because the hand hadn’t stopped waving when I opened my eyes again. I was also being held by someone but I couldn’t figure out who – world was too blurry.

“Why are you overreacting?”

Okay now who the hell said that? Mum?  ...Mum? Gosh you’re an idiot, you’re all idiots.

I opted for closing my eyes again and taking deep breaths in and out for however long I needed, ignoring whoever it was who was now shaking me. I’m not bloody dead, I just collapsed, stop shaking me. If you’re going to touch me, at least hug me or something; insensitive bastards.

When’s the last time someone gave me a hug, like, a proper hug? Two seconds of body contact does not count for a hug, I’ve had more intimacy bumping into someone in the hallway. I reckon that’s how I’m going to meet my partner, I’m going to bump into them and one of us is going to hang onto the other for a little too long, we’ll look into each other’s eyes, then romantic music will spontaneously start playing from an overhead speaker and we’ll...

“Hey, hey!”

My eyes snapped open and I squinted, looking up and around me before settling on everyone who was crowded at the door. I felt like a poor animal in a zoo. A delayed sense of embarrassment overtook everything else and I quickly stood up, brushed my knees (that were throbbing with pain but play it cool...) off and twitched my mouth into a sort of smile.

My mother had her hand on my shoulder. Most parents embrace their kids at times like this, right? Is that just a myth, or... “Honey,” she laughed, “we all got together to throw you a party, why are you showing yourself up like this?”

She had a smile on her face the whole time which I probably would have punched out of her had my energy not been slightly drained away.

“I don’t like surprises.” My voice was trembling and I wanted to speak again to prove that I was over whatever the hell just happened to me. “I told you...mum, I told you, you know, you know I don’t like surprises, I never did.”

“But it’s your eighteenth birthday!”

My bad, phobias are on hold on the eighteenth year of everyone’s life.

“Plus, everyone likes surprises, Amanda!”

It felt like the rest of the room giggled with my mum, then the neighbours opened their doors and joined in, then every single door in the hallway, then eventually the whole world had their doors open to look in and laugh at me.

I was sick on my mother’s shoes.

#56 - The S Word

Today’s words: Majestic, Comfort, Practice, Divergent

Word count: 368

Completion time: 44 minutes

Summary: Sex shouldn’t have to be whispered in secret or only be ‘right’ if you’re having it with someone you’re in a relationship with. Do what you like, your sex life is no-one’s business but your own.

--

Would it be completely out of your comfort zone if I asked you, a friend, to have sex with me? 

We never have before, not even close, but it feels like a good idea. You’re cute, I’m...alright, and we’re not committed to anyone, so just say the word and I’m yours for the night.

I guess I’ve got a slightly divergent opinion on sex – doing it with someone shouldn’t be some huge deal and it doesn’t mean that I want to date you or that I’m a ‘slut’, either. One night stands are a little like hugging a stranger, except that stranger happens to have their genitals pressed against your genitals...or mouth...or...ass....or whatever.

It isn’t dirty, it’s natural, and the feeling of being that close to someone for however many minutes (it’s okay if you’re a little out of practice, I am too) is, in a word, majestic.

I don’t want to use you like a – really realistic – sex doll, I want to be close to you without the implications that sex usually carries with it. I want to laugh; not apologise or be embarrassed for moaning because it sounds too ‘intimate’; I want forget that I’m ‘supposed’ to feel awkward because you’re just my friend; I want to look you in the eyes when we’re done without, “What now?” or, “What does this mean?” Sex doesn’t have to mean anything. As long as it feels good, between two (hey, or more) consenting people, and everyone feels comfortable...then what’s the issue?

And hey, please don’t let me wake up feeling like I need to creep out of the room, please don’t leave before I’ve even opened my eyes, and please don’t crease your eyes up and say sorry because sorry for what? For making me feel good? For having fun with me? For making it one of the most interesting nights I’ve had in a while?

Please.

I want to have sex with you because sex feels good, and it’ll feel great if I have it with you. 

Instead of sharing a drink, let’s share bodies and warm ourselves up with passion instead of tea.

I’m ready for this; give me the green light if you are, too.