#83 - Not Human After All

Today’s words: Iron, Zap, Panoramic, Aggressive

Word count: 337

Completion time: 43 minutes

Summary: It’s easy to pretend to be something you’re not, but what if you genuinely feel that you’re something you’re not?


I only just discovered the term 'lycanthropy' (belief that you are or are transforming into another animal) the other day and I'm 100% sure that it isn't like this in the slightest, and it may come across as slightly patronising, but my brain wasn't doing anything for my creativity tonight.

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My favourite game to play as a child was always ‘Cats and Dogs’, something that me and my siblings made up; two of us would act like cats, and one would act like a dog. The one acting like a dog would usually chase the other two on all fours, barking as the cats meowed and tried to fight back. It was essentially play-fighting with an animal element, and it often got pretty aggressive. I didn’t know what it was like to be the dog – I was always one of the cats. I didn’t see anything out of place about acting like an animal and I assumed that other kids felt the same, but that wasn’t the case.

“What do you mean?”

“Sometimes you feel like an animal, right? I’ve seen you act like a monkey before, climbing trees and eating bananas.”

“I was pretending.”

“You don’t ever feel like a real monkey?”

“I’m a person, not a monkey.”

It felt like a sharp zap had hit my brain, like when a child sees their father dressed in a red suit, helping himself to cookies, milk, and a carrot that was supposed to be for Rudolph. I was forced to see a panoramic view of the world that had always been restricted by blinkers.

Other people acted like animals for fun, not because they genuinely felt like that animal. Others didn’t feel fur where there was none, wiggle a phantom tail, or twitch ears that were further up the head than normal.

Sometimes I would feel like a human being, but most of the time I felt like a cat, regularly getting on all fours, turning my head to lick my shoulder, and rubbing against peoples’ legs demanding to be stroked. Such behaviour is commonplace for a child, but when you proclaim your feline status as an adult, it’s not so easy for people to accept; it’s like trying to shout at people through an iron wall, they just can’t hear you...no matter how loud you meow.