Wednesday, 29 January 2014

#80 - Sex Sells

Today’s words: Porter, Affront, Careerism, Comparison

Word count: 606

Completion time: 1 hour 9 minutes

Summary: The horrors of being forced into prostitution as a child.

At first, I felt uncomfortable writing this from a first-person point of view because I don’t like writing in the shoes of someone who’s experienced something awful that I never have...but it was difficult to imagine this in another POV.

Here is one real-life instance of a girl - Chong Kim - used as a sex slave that I learned a lot from. She was 19 at the time, but many are used from as young as 11-years-old.

Her story has been turned into a film called 'Eden', should anyone wish to find and watch it.


















It was 2003; the slave trade had been abolished in 1833, so why, at that time, did I feel chained to my ancestors’ pain? A valid comparison. Never in my life did I think that something like that would happen, it was something that I’d heard about in other countries, not in England; something that I’d read about online with my hands to my mouth, praying to whatever entity there was that their pain would be soothed and their torturers tortured.

Some people indulged in careerism – advancing in their field at the expense of their own morals, usually for profit. That was a kids’ game compared to the people I met; men who stole pre-teens from the street, bathing impressionable girls with smooth talk in bars...that wasn’t something you recovered from easily. Ten years on, I still see my tormentors’ faces in my sleep.

Like a porter wheeling bags of luggage across a station, they casually grabbed me and stuffed me into a van on my way home from school. My mouth was gagged, hands and feet tied, and finally, my eyes were hidden with a musty-smelling cloth.

My initial thought was that it wasn’t real, that I’d be able to open my eyes and be at my front door, father yelling at me for being late home; my second thought was that it was a prank that some bullies from school were playing; and third, I thought that I was going to be killed on the spot.

Oh, If only that were the case.

After travelling for God knows how long, I was offloaded with unbound feet from the van and led somewhere that I still couldn’t see. After several steps, my sight was restored.

The room I stood in resembled an office space, not too large, with an old poster of Guinness framed in one corner opposite a picture of a pin-up girl.

The first person my eyes locked onto was a slim guy in a red cloth shirt, slightly matted blonde hair, and a cap that shadowed his eyes. “Hey, you got a good one! We don’t get many black girls this pretty. What do you think she’s worth?”

“She could make us £1,500 in a night, easily.” That was another guy, leaning on a table.

“Where am I?” I asked. “What’s going on?”

The guy that led me out was still holding onto my arm. “You’ll see, baby girl.”

Soon I learned that my only worth was my body.

I was forced onto the streets, constantly monitored, and made to sleep with up to forty guys a day. If I caused an affront, it would be greeted with a fist, a belt, or worse.

I always had a horrible view of prostitutes: sluts who sold their body for cash without any regard for their self-worth as long as they got paid. No-one stops to think that some people don’t get a choice – sell yourself or get tortured until you wish you were dead.There were two options: shut up and take it, or get beaten to the ground if I tried to protest.

Every day I wished that I could hear my dad’s angry voice whenever I came back after curfew.

Any time that I wished that he would leave me alone, I wished even harder that I could see his face again.

All of the instances that I was forced into a stranger’s car, I remembered my silly tantrums when dad would force me to do my chores.

With each night that passed, I wished that it would all be over by morning.

I didn’t get my wish for a long time.

Monday, 27 January 2014

#79 - Light Conquers Dark

Today’s words: Minute, Install, Pilot, Shocking

Word count: 392

Completion time: 36 minutes

Summary: If you misunderstand something, it’s easy to spread rumours or lash out..but it really isn’t helping anyone

--

“Maybe it’s just easier for them to deal with.”

“Really? Easier for them to deal with?” the sarcasm in Tessa’s voice couldn’t have been overlooked. “It isn’t ‘shocking’ enough for them that I’m not white, vegan, and open about my sexuality? What else do they want to pin on me? You know,” she opened her windows that overlooked the children’s park, “if they took a minute to listen to what I had to say, maybe they could remove some of the shit that society chose to install into their heads.”

“They’re just kids.”

She turned around and looked into her friend’s eyes, focusing on the brown that tried to interfere with the light blue of her irises. “That’s not an excuse. You think my mum would have let me get away with calling people a witch? Or saying that they worshipped the devil?”

A pause.

“Cassie, they set one of my notepads on fire once because they were convinced that it was full of curses posing as notes for biology. You can’t excuse things like that, kids of not.”

“Maybe they just don’t understa--”

“And sixteen year olds are far from kids.” Tessa twisted her lips and walked past the windows to lean on the balcony. “Also, why are you defending them? Did the plane switch the pilot? Is this Evil Cassie I’m speaking to?” she turned her head. “I’m kidding, obviously.”

“Hey, I’m not defending them. I’m just trying to see it from both sides.”

After she turned back, Tessa’s finger and thumb rubbed the slow-climbing ivy that had wrapped itself around the pillars of the stone balcony. “The irony is that Pagans don’t believe in an absolute evil because the divine is present in everything. These leaves, the ground I’m stood on...” her voice lowered in volume. “Even the ass that calls me Sabrina the Teenage Witch every single day...which is funny because Sabrina was amazing. If I were a witch, I wouldn’t mind being her.” She frowned, knotting her eyebrows. “Why do people think it’s okay to treat others like crap to feel better about themselves?”

“Humans are selfish.”

Tessa turned to face Cassie again and leant herself on the balcony. “Yeah, a lot are.” She stroked the small silver pentagon that hung from her neck. “But even though there’s darkness in everything, light is never far behind.”

Friday, 24 January 2014

I'll start writing again on Monday

So if anyone has any themes for me to write about, that would be amazing.

I’ve done pieces covering trans* people, asexuality, gay/lesbian, Tourette’s…so something along those lines would be cool, something that doesn’t get a lot of air time, you know?

Tuesday, 24 December 2013

That's it for 2013

The piece I wrote today will be the last one for 2013 because from tomorrow, it's spending time with loved ones until I go back to uni.

I've been writing so so much because of this blog, so I feel good about that.

The only issue I have right now is that some stories could be shorter and I don't feel that they're as 'tight' as they could be.

I've been experimenting with flash fiction (literally less than 50 words) and have found it pretty rewarding, so I might switch it up and do more flash fiction in 2014.

I debated haikus as well, but we'll see how it goes...

Have a good holiday, everyone!

x

#78 - My Imagination



Today’s words: Simile, Prostitute, Oregano, Alabama

Word count: 123

Completion time: 31 minutes

Summary: If my imagination were corporeal

--

If my imagination could talk,
It would have an Alabama accent
For no reason other than
I like how ‘Alabama’ sounds

If my imagination could dress,
It would wear a blood red playsuit
With a black bow at the waist (because)
While lovely, it can also be deadly

And if you could taste it,
Your tongue would be spiked
With the flavour of oregano,
Because it’s my favourite herb

If it had a job, it’d be a prostitute.
It ventures into dark territory,
Stays up late at night,
And sometimes, people take advantage

Its favourite simile would be
‘As sweet as sugar’,
Because if it could drink,
It would have six sugars in its tea

If my imagination were human,
Could you imagine?

Saturday, 21 December 2013

#77 - The Man With The Limp



Today’s words: Bedsite, Parsimonious, Occupied, Limping

Word count: 549

Completion time: 37 minutes

Summary: You can never be too careful when helping a stranger out

--

What a cliché. An old guy’s limping along the pedestrian crossing, no-one else bothers to help, so you volunteer because not doing so would cause you to feel bad. It was rush hour, so horns were blazing and people were walking so fast it looked like they were robots trained to avoid any collision or conflict; eyes forward, shoulders back, a parsimonious hold on their bags and purses whenever they walked past the homeless couple on the corner of the street, you know.

Anyway, when I walked up to this guy and took his arm in mine, telling him that I would give him a hand, he smiled gratefully and shifted some of his weight onto my side. He needed me, I was doing him a favour, I was the hero...that’s what ‘selfless’ people say a lot, don’t they? Oh, I’m doing it out of the kindles of my heart, they say. Bullshit. They’re doing it because they all have ego trips, they want to make themselves feel better by doing something generous. I do the same, but I like to think that I’m a good person first and foremost.

When I looked closer at him to make sure he was okay, he looked much younger than I had initially assumed; his attire threw me completely – woolly bobble hat, thick brown Chelsea quilt jacket, light grey soiled trousers that looked two sizes too big...I was sure that he was in his late forties initially.

As we made it to the other side of the street, he thanked me and I smiled modestly. “It’s really no problem,” I added. “You’d probably do the same for me, right? Anyway, I’d better...”

He put a hand on my arm softly. “Are you occupied right now at all?” A slight Scottish accent accompanied his words.

The accent took me by surprise, and he had such a kind look in his eyes that I said that no, I wasn’t ‘occupied’. So he took me to Costa and we had a coffee and some snacks, his treat. When we sat down, he took his hat off, revealing a closely cropped head of dusty blonde hair that was beginning to curl at the ends. It made me feel comfortable, I think; if he had left his hat on, it would have made me feel uneasy for some reason.

“So, what’s your name?”

He asked me several questions about myself like he was genuinely interested, throwing out a compliment here and there about my hobbies and occasionally what I was wearing. My cheeks flushed, but I blamed it entirely on the soy latte.

When we left, he was still limping so he asked if I could walk him home since it was only across the park. I agreed.

His limp was soon gone when we stepped inside and his voice had dropped a little. I knew that I had to get out, but my legs were frozen and I knew that he wouldn’t let me go, even if I asked nicely. I don’t like recalling what happened in too much detail, but afterwards, his makeshift limp had transferred itself to me for real and the bedsite wall had a few bloody scratches on it.

Every day since, I curse myself in the mirror for being too naive.

Friday, 20 December 2013

#76 - Words Left Unsaid



Today’s words: Cat, Sex, Lemon, Colour

Word count: 728

Completion time: 51 minutes

Summary: If you never tell someone what you’re thinking or feeling, you could be worrying over absolutely nothing

--

For one of the first times in her life, Charlotte was glad that her webcam transformed her into a blurry mix of colour; it was like crying when it was raining. She wasn’t crying about the lack of sex, she was crying about the emotional distance that she was feeling between her and Blake. It was true that Blake had never been with another girl before so she’d be nervous, but they had barely even kissed.

“You think she’s gone off of girls already?” Charlotte asked Gary in her thick Brooklyn accent as she readjusted the strap on her dress. He laughed a little, making her look up at him accusingly. “That a yes?” Tears began to sting her eyes, which she quickly wiped away with her index fingers.

“You guys have spent two days together, there’s no way you can tell what she’s feeling yet, give it time.”

“I’ve done everything...I’ve,” she looked up towards the ceiling and counted the list off with her fingers, “rested my head on her shoulder, told her she looks pretty, stared at her a little after we break away from a hug, but I can’t feel any intimacy...”

“Have you tried talking to her about it?”

Inhaling, she prepared to answer but held back before starting again. “I try...but it’s difficult to...you know, get the words out; I don’t want her to think that I’m worrying over nothing.”

Gary smiled sympathetically. “You’re worrying and that’s enough; if something’s affecting you emotionally, it’s never stupid or invalid...she should understand that.”

She whispered “yeah” under her breath and watched as more tears fell onto the skirt of her summer dress, a dress that was yellow like the colour of a bright, cheerful lemon. “I wore yellow today,” she said, touching the hem with her fingers and curling them around the thin material. “Yellow’s meant to be the happiest colour, right? I think I read that once.”

“Probably, I don’t know,” Gary said, trying and failing to study the dress.

“Why am I such a scardey cat?”

“You’re not.”

“Oh jeez, you heard that?” she put the back of her hand in front of her mouth and smiled, blinking away a few more tears.

“You know, she might be feeling the same way...she might think that she’s done something wrong or that you don’t like her anymore.”

She wrinkled her brow and chuckled. “No way, I’m crazy about her.”

“But look at it from her point of view...she might be anxious to get closer to you too, and because you’re the first girl she’s been with, she might not even be able to look at you without freaking out.”

She sat up suddenly. “I get nervous to look at her, too.”

“Yeah, see? And you’re experienced, so imagine how she’s feeling.”

There were a few seconds of silence on both ends before Charlotte said: “Wow...I was too caught up thinking about myself to even...” she put both hands on either side of her and leant forward a little. “You think she might be feeling this, too?”

“You won’t know until you ask, so just go for it.”

Soft footsteps were heard coming up the stairs, prompting Charlotte to say, “Hey, I think she’s done making dinner for us...I’ll talk to you soon, okay?”

“That’s fine, just remember – be open with her.”

“Got it.”

The bedroom door opened slightly and Blake popped her head around the door. “You ready for food?”

Charlotte’s heart began to take control of her entire body until she could feel every inch pulsing rapidly. “Yeah...um, is it alright if we talk real quick? It’s nothing big,” she hastened to add, “it’s just...something on my mind.”

It took a while for Charlotte to voice what she wanted to say, but eventually it all came tumbling out once the first issue had been dislodged. She found it hard to look her in the eyes as she spoke, but Blake was hanging onto every word.

“To be honest,” Blake began once Charlotte was finished, “I was kind of scared to say or do anything wrong around you...so I was quieter than normal, I’m sorry,” she confessed, taking Charlotte in her arms. “I’m not sick of you at all, not even a little bit.”

Charlotte smiled against Blake’s hair, drying the tears on her shirt that were filled with joy rather than sorrow. “Good.”