#110 - What's Sex Got to do With it?

Today’s words: Physical, Honeymoon, Gin, Snow

Word count: 517

Completion time: 50 minutes

Summary: Sex is not mandatory, and it never will be.

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Somebody once told me it didn’t count as a real relationship unless things got physical...you know, if they had sex. They said it may as well be another form of friendship, something masquerading as romance. Masquerading, heh.

I imagined a masked ball full of elegantly-dressed couples dancing under chandeliers, maroon and gold curtains lacing the walls. Everybody’s having a great time when suddenly, someone shrieks. The music stops, and all eyes are on a couple whose masks have fallen off. Underneath the masks are a couple who were not supposed to be there – the ball was strictly Real Couples Only, and everyone knew that they hadn’t had sex.

Next level is off-limits; please touch genitals to advance.

This fool masquerading as a relationship guru happened to be dating my friend, and after the “painful, sexless” honeymoon period, only one thing was on his mind. So, over a bottle of gin, he asked as casually as he could, when they were going to do it – not if, but when. I was there when this happened, him thinking nothing of discussing it in my presence.

“You said you’d think about it, so what’s your answer?”

My friend knotted her eyebrows and looked at the table. “Could we discuss this later?” Her blue eyes looked towards the exit.

“You always say that. If I keep going along with this, I’ll never get laid.” He raised his eyebrows and smiled. “You’re like the sun...and I’m like snow. You’re killing me, baby.”

How poetic.

Her eyes widened and it felt like my jaw locked; I wanted to tell him to fuck off, to leave my poor friend alone, but I couldn’t get the words out.

She looked like a defenceless mouse but managed to say: “I’m not doing this here.”

Two months ago, she told me about meeting this “really sweet guy” on Tinder. He asked for her bra size before he asked how she was, but apparently that’s just what guys were like on there. Aside from that, I was assured that he was extremely sweet.

“You’re not doing it at all, apparently,” he continued.

I put a hand on his arm. “If you want sex so bad, why not find someone who actually wants it?”

“I know she wants it,” he said quickly. “She said ‘maybe’ so many times...’maybe’s turn into ‘yes’s eventually.”

“No they don’t,” she said. “’Maybe’ means ‘maybe’. I’m not comfortable with it, so drop it.”

“Look.” I still held onto his arm. “Clearly she doesn’t want to. Your words aren’t magic dust, so stop trying to convince her.”

He looked at me like I was speaking Korean, but I continued.

“Maybe she’ll change her mind, maybe she won’t, but don’t you dare act like you deserve it.”

She stopped running her fingers through her hair and smiled. “Thanks.” Her facial expression changed when she looked at him. “You knew what I was like before you got with me, so why are you being like this? You can’t change me.”

Thankfully, they broke up a few days later.

Sex is not mandatory, and it never will be.